Funny Writing - The Hoarse Horse

After locating another novice line that just about killed me and woke up my sleeping husband, I knew I COULD NOT wait to post.  I had to follow it up with several close runners-up from my collection to keep you laughing.  Enjoy these novice lines!

#3

I swallowed the horse in my throat and started to speak.

It was only like a five minute walk anyway, so for me running the way I was angry the way I was, I got there in no minute.

I had no right to feel pity on myself.

Emily stalked off in a hard walk.  If I didn't remember what just happened and how angry she was, I would have thought that she was modeling.

The cold front that started on the ball of my neck stopped swiping through my hair.

...the cool air I felt caressing the ball of my neck spoke.

Oh, my god.  I forgot I'm dead.  I'm not coming back.

Funny Writting - Running

Here is the second dose of awesome for my Funny Writing posts. I feel honored that I have discovered these.  I seriously sit at a table for hours at a time, scrolling through boring stuff, looking for happy accidents.  Enjoy!

#2

 

 

My hair was the length of my ass which was pretty long.

 

In his darkest tone, he looked as if he were about to explode.

 

I tore my stare away from his and held it beneath his face.

 

I ran as far as my body could take me like a girl on steroids.

 

Throughout the night I continuously bumped into one of the guys.  (That sounds sooo wrong.)

 



 

Funny Writing - A King

Ever cross a funny line while reading?  Funny Writing is beautiful comedic genius that happens on accident when a writer jots down a horrible line.  I am just as guilty as the rest, as I have employed my own bad lines.  But my job here is to share with you the lines that I find while reading.  Some of them are epic funny.  Others, very, very confusing.  Enjoy!

#1

Not even a hair was out of place on the king's head.  He was always in perfect control.

He had to blink rapidly for a few moments to get used to the sudden optical stimulation.

Before long, he realized that his armpits were soaked with sweat.

My fingers ran through the soft hair of the earth known as grass.

The two of them sounded capable of a lot more than threats.